One Woman Palaver

She was so hungry for it

I mean she was so hot and dying for it

But the one I have is too big for her

So she began to grumble like an angry old lady

“This is too big. Don’t you have a small one?”

And I concluded that she might not take it all after all

However as a matter of courtesy

I kept persuading her to manage it

“Just take it all, it is not too big”

But she kept resisting and asking me

“Don’t you have a small one?”

“Nope. Just this one and it is very hot too”, I replied

She finally agreed to take it

I never thought she would have the courage to take it

I just kept my distance

Keeping quiet like a hunter taking a deep rest

After capturing an elusive game

And in a twinkling of an eye

She had taken them all

I saw how she grabbed the ‘big thing’ in her mouth

Staining it all over with her lipstick-coated mouth

Before drinking it all in a haste

Like a thirsty Camel in the middle of the desert

Out of nosiness and being flabbergasted I asked her

“But you were moaning and complaining that it is too big”

Shyly and embarrassingly she replied

“I just managed to take it because it is too hot”

I could clearly see embarrassment written all over her face

And to empathise with her I said

“Me too I prefer the old Coke in small bottle

This new big one is just nonsense, a waste of money

And mere consumption of more sugar”

Instantly a picture of a calmed sensation

Flashed all over her face

And like a journalist who suddenly regained her freedom

From the Taliban she said

“You are right”

And gave me some tips.

Chukwunwikezarramu Okumephuna

November 9, 2001.