Federal Secretariat Abuja, 10:48 Am, October 12, 2009
A very busy Monday morning
In the Federal Ministry of Education
Staff very busy as usual doing nothing
Women occupied with their manicure and pedicure
Laughing and chatting about their weekend exploits
With guys young enough to be their kids
Innocent lads lured into sexual debauchery with some money
Men lusting after young fresh graduates on NYSC
Sizing up their boobs and bums
Security men and drivers having endless break
Smoking skunk at the car park
And whispering about their recent sexual exploits
With girls young enough to be their granddaughters
Directors feasting voraciously on akara and bread
As if there would be no tomorrow
Just like a lion over a coveted carcass
Army of babies crawling and crying here and there and yonder
While other battalions are playing with computer cords and printer cartridges
The scenario is actually not surprising because they make babies here everyday
Courtesy of the lecherous and lascivious directors
Permanent Secretary chatting with his mistress on the Facebook
Smiling and laughing out aloud to nobody but to himself
Showing widely his snuff-stained 32 like that of a gorilla
Press Secretary admiring the semi-nude picture of the Guardian correspondent
And grinning like a pervert on the FBI’s Ten Most Wanted Fugitives
While the minister is busy attending to urgent matters
In his locked-up office with the education reporter of the NTA
Meanwhile
The ASUU is on strike
And has been since the last six months
Students therefore have no other option
But to stay at home too
Endless negotiations have been going on for ages
An opportunity for both parties to exhibit their lucubration
Professors want pay rise
But the minister says there is no money
Even as
He hosts litany of parties here and there
The real Owambe parties
One in honour of his late great grandfather
And the other to celebrate the arrival of his wife’s seventh child
And that was barely a month after having one for the fourth of his mistress
All to the tune of about Ten Million Naira
And yet the professors and students are at home
And he says there is no money to meet their demands
By the way
After attending to the urgent matters with the NTA Reporter
He came out with a huge hard-on
And some stuffs that look like congealed milk on his trousers
And the 22-year old reporter was busy giggling like a conqueror
Clutching a cheque of Fifty Thousand Naira
Like a blind man holding tenaciously to a guide dog
And bouncing up and down like an athlete who won a trophy
Well it is apparent that she just won one
For the minister obviously looks like a looser
You should see sweats dripping down his face
Like a Christmas he-goat
He must have lost a lot
He probably made it up to three rounds
It is written all over his face
Shameless sugar daddy!
Chukwunwikezarramu Okumephuna
October 8, 2009.
